What's the big deal about cash bars?
Everyone on here seems to be SO AGAINST them. I have never been to a wedding that didn’t have a cash bar, the closest I ever got was a toonie bar (a toonie is a canadian coin if you dont’ know). I guess cash bars are the most common thing in my city and I am having one at my wedding. I’m just wondering why people are so against it and why they think it’s rude. I went to 5 weddings last summer, not one had an open bar, they were all cash, and I didn’t think that was rude at all. I am paying well over 00 to feed everyone supper and will be supplying wine for the toasts, why would I be expected to provide booze too?
Please explain this to me!
I agree, and we are paying for all soft drinks and juice.
I’m so glad people seem to agree with me. All I keep reading on here is how cash bars are tacky and rude. I don’t want people getting drunk and ruining my day, but if they insist on doing so, then I want them to have to pay for it, not me lol. But we are definately supplying all non-alcoholic bevarages.
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Most of the people on here are from the US, and a lot of them cant comprehend that wedding etiquette is different for different places. For example I have learned on Y!A that it is the height of rudeness to tell guests where you are registered on the invitation in the US, whereas in Australia all invitations have a standard pocket to put a note telling them where you are registered of what other arrangements you have made (for example a honeymoon fund or wishing well).
You are supplying non alcoholic drinks so people wont go thirsty, so I dont really see a problem if thats what is normal where you live. I would suggest that its a good idea to supply champagne for the toast, but it is also acceptable to just ask the guests to raise whatever they are drinking (whether that be champagne, a martini or even a glass of water!) because in the real world out side of wedding-mania, nobody really cares about that stuff anyway!
I don’t mind cash bars at all, with one exception. I think that soft drinks should be available for free. Serving just water is not really hospitable.
I am not opposed completely to cash bars. I do agree that if people intend to do a lot of heavy drinking that you shouldn’t have to foot the bill. However, I do think non-alcholic drinks should be provided such as a soda beverage and water as well as the first glass of wine/champagne for the toast.
I am opposed to people not letting their guests know they are having a cash bar if there will be no ‘free’ drink provided. If someone has a large family, having to pay for drinks (even soda) all night long can get pretty pricey and would be horrible to not have the cash on hand or be unprepared for this expense.
Also Canadian (!) living now in Toronto but originally from the east coast.
My brother had an open bar at his wedding. It was the talk for months. What was he trying to prove, anyway? Better than everyone else now, is he? lol Different mentality, I guess.
I think the prevailing idea is that, as your guest, they shouldn’t have to pay for anything. For example, if you have a dinner party, you don’t expect people to pay for their glass of wine at the table.
However, it’s very common back home for parties to be BYOB, no matter how well off you are. Everyone supplies their own liquor to most parties home (except MAYBE at Christmas or on your birthday) and that’s just the way it’s done. However here in Toronto, you might bring a bottle of wine to the hostess, but generally, booze is part of the party package.
If your family and friends will be expecting a cash bar, then I don’t think you should worry about it.
Congrats on the wedding!
When you have to pay $8 dollars for bottled water or else go to the bathroom and drink out of the faucet in the middle of summer, you would understand.
I bring a tiny tiny purse and the least I think of is to bring hundreds of dollars to be able to have a drink with my meal so I can swallow. Given advance notice of this I would chose not to attend or deduct the $100 dollars I spend on 6 bottles of water and 2 glasses of wine from their $300 wedding gift. I did not got all dolled up, spend hundreds of dollars in showers, registries, engagements , travel, airfare, rental car and hotel accommodations and no be offered a punch to quench my thirst and instead get slammed with a bill.
If I cannot afford to have drinks at my party, then I do not have drinks at my party. But to have drinks for sale is uncouth.
Good luck
It’s a cultural thing. Americans tend to stick to entertaining etiquette and uphold that they should be the ones to treat their guests, Canadians are more laidback and we just don’t care as much. Of course, this varies geographically, but in the US it would be more frowned upon to have a cash bar. I live in Ontario and I would say about half the weddings I’ve been to had a cash bar and no one seemed to be bothered by it.
I actually prefer a cash bar when I order a drink at a reception. Why? Because hosting an open bar can be quite expensive, so many brides and grooms who do have an open bar, will save on costs and stock the bar with low grade alcohol. Low grade alcohol gives you headaches and is no substitute for a better brand. I always find the prices at a cash bar to be reasonable, so I never mind getting and paying for what I like. And, the bartender always gets a tip.
Anyone who balks at a cash bar just wants to drink and maybe even over drink for FREE.
I suspect it has more to do with the "culture" of your area as well as your socio-economic class. As a professional wedding planner, I have many clients whose budgets won’t accommondate an unlimited open bar. They may host some beer and wine but not an entire evening of limitless alcohol. When you consider such an amenity can easily run $3,000 to $5,000 and more in the Midwest (and much more in major metropolitan locales), it’s easy to see how such an expense can be a deal breaker for many brides on a tighter budget. Not having an unlimited open bar can go a long way to limiting the number of stupidly drunken guests who can destroy the decor and celebration of the day. Your guests are being treated to a nice dinner and good music and fun. They should appreciate that and not criticize if they can’t drink themselves under the table on the bride’s and groom’s dime.
I am American, and I think cash bar is just fine.
1.) Provided soft drinks are at least taken care of. Or maybe lemonade/tea/water. You have to have something your guests can drink.
2.) When two early 20-somethings get married, all of their friends are likely still in the "booze-hound" stage. Having a cash bar makes Jimmy think if he really needs that 8th budweiser or not (and hopefully never get to the 8th bud). Having an open bar means.. GET DRUNK AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.
3.) I dont know why anyone would think this is of poor ettiquette. Ive never been to a celebration of any time where it wasnt either BYOB or you threw in money to help pay for the booze purchased. Alcohol is a choice, not a necessasity…..
Yo’ Mama is very right in the sense that it’s about where you live and how much you can spend.
My family is well off. My fiance’s family is well off. We’re still electing to have a cash bar at the wedding. My best friend had an open bar at her wedding (which was large) when she was in her early 20′s, and they ended up being close to $5000 over budget because of it. When your guests have a penchant for the $400 bottle of Scotch, who are you to say they have to drink the $60 bottle. Hindsight is 20/20, and she said if she had a do-over she’d never have had the open bar.
I’m from Canada, but I was raised by a hoity toity socialite of an American mother. She basically ran the show for my brother’s wedding, and it was open bar. Let’s just say that the bridesmaids were puking up tequila, getting the dog drunk, wrestling in cold cuts, and throwing ice cubes by the end of the night. Not at all attractive.
Canadians are fairly used to cash or twoonie bars, no matter their social standing or location. I wouldn’t think anything of it, if I were you. I’ve only been to one wedding with an open bar, and it was hosted by my hoity toity mother’s millionaire brother. The extra few grand was pocket change to him. Us mere mortals can’t afford that kind of thing.
Provide wine, water, and soft drinks and let your guests pay for their own hard liquor if they elect to. There is absolutely no reason for people to ”cut loose” and get hammered at your wedding, anyway. If your guests are only coming for the open bar, they’re at the wedding for the wrong reasons.
In short, Americans may feel it’s ”tacky”, but us Canadians don’t mind one bit. It’s not like you’re asking your guests to pay for their dinner!
I’m with you on this one. I have only ever attended one wedding that had an open bar in my life. Every other wedding I have ever been to is cash bar. It is expected and accepted in my area and family.
I do hate having to pay for soda and juice though. Alcohol is not a necessity, regular drinks are.
I will never forget when I was the maid of honor at a wedding, the bride had heartburn and she said that milk would be the only thing that would get rid of it. I went to the bar to ask for a glass, and I was being chraged for it. I had to then find my husband so he could pay for it (bridesmaid dresses have no pockets!). I just felt like it was the tackiest thing ever that I had to pay for a glass of milk, and for the bride even!
ADD: I am from New England.
I think a cash bar is fine, and most weddings I have been to have had a cash bar, unless it wass in the church social hall, and then it was an alcohol free reception.
I am not having an open bar I have never been to a wedding that has had one. I agree paying to feed them for music to entertain them and wine for toasts (we are having free juice for the kids and soda for the adults that don’t want to drink. I am also setting up a game at the bar
a jar of water with a smaller glass inside and people can drop quarters in and if they get one in the glass they get a free beer.